How To Calm a Child's Nervous System in 10 Ways

Kids, just like adults, can experience stress, anxiety, and nervous system dysregulation. These states can manifest as emotional meltdowns, heightened anxiety, or even physical symptoms like headaches or stomachaches. 

Understanding how to help a child calm their nervous system is essential for promoting emotional well-being and helping them navigate life’s challenges more effectively. In this post, we'll explore what the nervous system is, signs of dysregulation, and 10 practical ways to soothe a child's nervous system.

What Is the Nervous System?

The nervous system is the body's complex network that controls everything from movement and sensation to emotions and thoughts. It consists of the brain, spinal cord, and a vast network of nerves that send and receive signals throughout the body. 

The nervous system is divided into several parts, including the autonomic nervous system, which plays a key role in regulating involuntary functions such as heart rate, digestion, and respiratory rate.

Autonomic Nervous System

The autonomic nervous system (ANS) controls the body’s automatic processes, such as breathing, heartbeat, and digestion, without conscious effort. It has two main branches: the sympathetic nervous system and the parasympathetic nervous system, both of which play crucial roles in how the body responds to stress and relaxation.

Sympathetic Nervous System

The sympathetic nervous system (SNS) is often referred to as the "fight or flight" system. It prepares the body to react to perceived threats by increasing heart rate, dilating pupils, and redirecting blood flow to essential muscles. This response is vital in situations that require immediate action, but prolonged activation of the SNS can lead to stress and anxiety.

Parasympathetic Nervous System

On the other hand, the parasympathetic nervous system (PNS) is known as the "rest and digest" system. It helps the body return to a state of calm after the threat has passed by slowing the heart rate, promoting digestion, and relaxing muscles. The balance between the SNS and PNS is essential for maintaining a healthy nervous system and overall well-being.

What Are Signs of Dysregulation?

When a child’s nervous system is dysregulated, their body struggles to balance the sympathetic and parasympathetic systems. This imbalance can manifest in several ways, and recognizing these signs is crucial for intervening and helping the child restore calm.

Meltdowns

Meltdowns are a common sign of nervous system dysregulation in children. These intense emotional outbursts can be triggered by stress, frustration, or sensory overload. 

During a meltdown, a child may cry uncontrollably, scream, or become physically agitated. Meltdowns often indicate that the child’s nervous system is overwhelmed and needs support to regain balance.

Fight or Flight Responses

The fight or flight response is another clear sign of nervous system dysregulation. Children in this state may become aggressive (fight) or try to escape the situation (flight). This response is a direct activation of the sympathetic nervous system and indicates that the child perceives a threat, whether real or imagined.

Freeze Mode

Some children respond to stress by entering a freeze mode, where they become unresponsive or appear "zoned out." This response is another form of nervous system dysregulation, where the child feels overwhelmed and cannot react to the situation. Freeze mode can be just as distressing as the fight or flight response, though it may be less obvious.

Over-Reliance on Caregivers

Children with a dysregulated nervous system may also display an over-reliance on caregivers. They may struggle to separate from their parents, require constant reassurance, or cling excessively. This behavior can be a coping mechanism for dealing with anxiety or fear, indicating that the child’s nervous system is not in a state of calm.

What Causes a Lack of Nervous System Regulation?

Several factors can contribute to nervous system dysregulation in children. Understanding these causes can help address the root of the problem and find effective strategies to help children achieve a state of calm.

Environmental Factors

Environmental factors, such as high levels of stress at home or school, can significantly impact a child’s nervous system. Exposure to loud noises, chaotic environments, or constant change can overwhelm a child's ability to regulate their emotions and bodily responses.

Past Trauma

Past trauma, whether it be emotional, physical, or psychological, can also lead to nervous system dysregulation. Children who have experienced trauma may be in a constant state of alertness, with their sympathetic nervous system frequently activated. This can result in chronic stress and difficulties in calming down, even in non-threatening situations.

Other Conditions

Conditions like ADHD, autism, and anxiety disorders are also linked to nervous system dysregulation. These conditions can make it harder for children to manage their emotions and reactions, leading to frequent states of anxiety or over-arousal. Addressing these underlying conditions is crucial for helping children achieve nervous system balance.

How To Soothe a Child’s Nervous System

Helping a child calm their nervous system involves a combination of physical, emotional, and psychological strategies. 

Here are 10 effective ways to soothe a child’s nervous system and help them achieve a state of calm.

1. Deep Breathing

Deep breathing is one of the most effective ways to calm the nervous system. Encourage your child to take slow, deep breaths, inhaling through the nose and exhaling through the mouth. 

This simple technique activates the parasympathetic nervous system, helping to slow the heart rate and promote relaxation. Practicing deep breathing can help children learn to use it as a tool whenever they feel overwhelmed.

2. Reading

Reading can be a soothing activity that helps children focus and relax. Choose books that your child enjoys, as reading can shift their attention away from stressors and create a calming environment. For younger children, reading together can also provide a comforting sense of connection.

3. Physical Activity

Physical activity is a great way to release pent-up energy and stress. Encourage your child to engage in activities they enjoy, such as running, jumping, or playing sports. Exercise promotes the release of endorphins, which are natural mood lifters, and helps to balance the nervous system by reducing stress hormones.

4. Talk About Experiences

Openly discussing experiences with your child can help them understand their emotions and responses better. When children can name their feelings and understand what’s happening in their bodies, they are more likely to feel in control and less anxious. Create a safe space for your child to talk about their feelings and reassure them that it’s okay to feel overwhelmed, and that over time they can learn to feel better.

5. Identify Stressors

Identifying and addressing the specific stressors that affect your child is crucial for calming their nervous system. Pay attention to what triggers your child’s anxiety or dysregulation, whether it’s certain situations, people, or activities. Once identified, work together to develop strategies for managing and working through these stressors. Resist the temptation to help your child avoid the common stressors they will experience throughout their lives. 

6. Give Words to Big Emotions

Helping children put words to their emotions can be a powerful tool for nervous system regulation. Teach your child to express what they are feeling, whether it’s anger, sadness, or fear. By giving them the language to describe their emotions, you help them gain insight into their feelings and reduce the intensity of their reactions.

7. Practice Emotional Regulation

Emotional regulation is the ability to manage and respond to emotions in a healthy way. Teach your child techniques such as counting to ten, taking a break, or using a stress ball when they start to feel overwhelmed. Practicing these skills can help children gain better control over their emotions and reduce nervous system dysregulation.

8. Try Cold Water

Applying cold water to the face or hands can have an immediate calming effect on the nervous system. This technique stimulates the vagus nerve, which is a key component of the parasympathetic nervous system, helping reduce the fight or flight response. Encourage your child to splash cold water on their face or hold a cold compress when they need to calm down.

9. Consider Supplements

Certain supplements, such as magnesium or omega-3 fatty acids, can support nervous system health and promote relaxation. However, it’s important to consult with a healthcare provider before introducing any supplements to ensure they are appropriate for your child’s needs.

10. Blow Bubbles

Blowing bubbles is a fun and effective way to calm a child’s nervous system. The act of blowing encourages deep breathing, which helps to activate the parasympathetic nervous system. Additionally, watching the bubbles float away can be a soothing and distracting activity that helps shift focus away from stressors.

Achieve Calm With Hero Journey Club

By understanding the signs of nervous system imbalance and implementing effective strategies like deep breathing, physical activity, and emotional regulation, you can support your child in achieving a balanced and calm state. 

Hero Journey Club offers a supportive environment where children can learn strategies to calm their nervous systems. Through therapist-led gaming groups, kids develop emotional regulation skills and build resilience in a fun and engaging way. Hero Journey Club’s structured approach ensures that each child receives the support they need to achieve a state of calm and well-being.

Calming a child’s nervous system is an essential part of helping them manage stress, anxiety, and emotional dysregulation. With the right tools and guidance, every child can learn to calm their nervous system and enjoy a happier, more balanced life.

Sources:

Understanding the stress response | Harvard Health

Nervous System: What It Is, Parts, Function & Disorders | Cleveland Clinic

Neuroanatomy, Sympathetic Nervous System - StatPearls | NCBI Bookshelf

Neuroanatomy, Parasympathetic Nervous System - StatPearls | NCBI Bookshelf